Eye-opening moment
Hi friends and family.....last weekend Tyler and I attended the Out of the Darkness Walk for Suicide Prevention and I personally had an eye-opening experience.
We were there to volunteer our time with some of my other coworkers and the turn out was remarkable. Tyler and I passed out beads that were different colors and every color meant a specific type of loss. Friend. Spouse. Sibling. Relative. Personal struggle. Prevention Support. Child. So many colors. It was so hard to have people approach our table, look over the list, and tell us what color they needed. Some people cried as they spoke their color choice, some were stoic, some were quiet and would just point to the color they needed.
It was such a rewarding time in many ways as hoards of people came together to celebrate those they lost but also to bring awareness that suicide is preventable. There are so many groups, medical treatments for those who suffer with depression, anxiety, all the things that could drive someone to commit a permanent solution b/c of a temporary moment. This walk made me reflect on my own recent struggles and actually admit them to myself - which in turn, I'm openly admitting to all of you who read this.......so, I suffer from moderate depression and anxiety. Anxiety has always been a part of my life, but has progressively gotten worse in the past 6yrs. The depression has been there but after finding out I had PCOS(polycystic ovarian syndrome) and the blossoming families on my FB feed and around me, it has gotten worse and has lead to contemplative thoughts of "what's the point". Please don't take this wrong to the friends who have posted about expecting or the growth spurts of your beautiful children.....in no way am I not wanting to see such wonderful updates but understand that for me personally that it's difficult. Yes, PCOS for some is easy to treat, but with having Type II and PCOS, it's not that easy for me. I am always happy for my friends but my own sadness tends to privately overshadow such joy in my mind. Though I do love seeing all those smiling baby faces on my feed.
I have sought care most recently when I realized that I had so much to live for and so many people that love me.
It was very eye-opening for me when I put on green(personal struggle) beads and Tyler wore blue(prevention), but for once I didn't feel so alone in my journey.
However, even when suffers have those uplifting moments, its never the end for those haunting, depressing thoughts. Emotionally, one can always feel empty even when they wear a smile.
Talk openly to those and get them the help they need. Don't wait til it's too late.
http://afsp.donordrive.com/
We were there to volunteer our time with some of my other coworkers and the turn out was remarkable. Tyler and I passed out beads that were different colors and every color meant a specific type of loss. Friend. Spouse. Sibling. Relative. Personal struggle. Prevention Support. Child. So many colors. It was so hard to have people approach our table, look over the list, and tell us what color they needed. Some people cried as they spoke their color choice, some were stoic, some were quiet and would just point to the color they needed.
It was such a rewarding time in many ways as hoards of people came together to celebrate those they lost but also to bring awareness that suicide is preventable. There are so many groups, medical treatments for those who suffer with depression, anxiety, all the things that could drive someone to commit a permanent solution b/c of a temporary moment. This walk made me reflect on my own recent struggles and actually admit them to myself - which in turn, I'm openly admitting to all of you who read this.......so, I suffer from moderate depression and anxiety. Anxiety has always been a part of my life, but has progressively gotten worse in the past 6yrs. The depression has been there but after finding out I had PCOS(polycystic ovarian syndrome) and the blossoming families on my FB feed and around me, it has gotten worse and has lead to contemplative thoughts of "what's the point". Please don't take this wrong to the friends who have posted about expecting or the growth spurts of your beautiful children.....in no way am I not wanting to see such wonderful updates but understand that for me personally that it's difficult. Yes, PCOS for some is easy to treat, but with having Type II and PCOS, it's not that easy for me. I am always happy for my friends but my own sadness tends to privately overshadow such joy in my mind. Though I do love seeing all those smiling baby faces on my feed.
I have sought care most recently when I realized that I had so much to live for and so many people that love me.
It was very eye-opening for me when I put on green(personal struggle) beads and Tyler wore blue(prevention), but for once I didn't feel so alone in my journey.
However, even when suffers have those uplifting moments, its never the end for those haunting, depressing thoughts. Emotionally, one can always feel empty even when they wear a smile.
Talk openly to those and get them the help they need. Don't wait til it's too late.
http://afsp.donordrive.com/
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